Sunday, 3 May 2020

The Little Buddha Series - 4


Here's your share of the booty, Ma!
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Gautham is very enthusiastic about visiting grocery shops with Amma , for he believes in his own ability to influence his mother to do a last minute buy of an "imli muttayi" ( tamarind rolled like a candy and sugar sprinkled over it ). He walks around the aisles with hands in the pants' pockets.


On a certain day, Amma and Gautham went on shopping and returned without Amma budging to Gautham's tantrums for an "imli muttayi". But unlike other days, there was no emotional breakdown which gave a silent hope that the boy is learning to control his emotions, finally. But controlling pelvic muscles was still not within his control that Amma had to take his permission to change the trousers. But Gautham was unwilling to part with his trousers. He was ok with walking around in peed pants but would not change them


It took a long time of persuasion ,and a long line of swears and threats to make him part with the trousers and on one condition : what is in the pockets were Gautham's and that Amma should not claim them - from the past history, the pockets were likely to have broken pieces of random plastic stuff or a few Hotwheel cars. The condition was ok with Amma. That is when Gautham took out his possession from the pockets with a gleeful grin - an imli muttayi and Amma's eyes popped out. "Baby, did u ..?" , to which Gautham answered , "Amma, Don't be upset, I know you love it too , here! have it! - I have taken one for you !, how tasty! - isn't it Amma ", he said innocently


Edit : before you judge my child, he is only as tall as our longest umbrella ; I will later attach a picture of him

The Little Buddha Series - 3



A story of betrayal !
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Gautham comes crying, says, “Amma, is it true that Ettan came first ?”

Amma: “Yes darling”, “Ettan came first”


<< Crying intensifies >>

Gautham: “How long after did you decide to get me?”

Amma: “3 years”   ( months did not make sense to him ; so I truncated the actual number to years)

<< Crying continues >>

Gautham : “3 years?! , had I come with him I would have got more birthdays” ; “I would also have gone to school with him” ; “I will be saying ABCD with him” ; “Amma don’t you know that I am afraid of sleeping alone ?!”

<< Crying continues ; speech slurring ; nose running ; mouth drooling >>

Gautham: “Amma, Ettan says that you decided to bring me to play with him ?”

Amma: “ No, we all wanted you here, we asked God for you , and God granted the wish”

Gautham: “Ettan says that you got me because he prayed for me” , “And, he prayed for me because he wanted somebody to play with”

<< Still crying inconsolably >>

Gautham: “ I am done playing with him, Amma, he does not share the cars ”, Gautham falls face down on the sofa ,  “Let me go back to where I came from ! Swallow me back, Amma! ” , “Swallow me , now!”


<< Achan was called in to settle the matter >>


The brothers! - United by food ; divided by Hotwheels*




*Hotwheels : a brand of toy cars

Tuesday, 17 March 2020

Erotica 2:


My Love - a raging wildfire

Have you heard of a wildfire ,my darlin',
A wildfire no man can control
The elements cannot change its course
Pouring raindrops only intensifies the force
Groping up like a tempestuous high tide,
it spares no atom of your existence untouched
A wildfire that does not choke a man,
with anything in anticipation, my love;
it neither burns, nor it harms,
but only satiates a soul's flaring desire -

to melt into its missing half
A wildfire in which blooms magnolia trees,
with flowers smelling of your bodily scent,
whose branches are home to chirpy birds
and wild mushrooms of a hundred colors ;
in its shade i lay in deep meditation
while soaking in your unearthly attraction


Thanks to Indran's art for the inspiration 


Monday, 16 March 2020

Misery of a Claustrophobic Woman


Written during the Corona contagion time of 2020 when streets were desolate and people were confined to their homes to contain the spread of virus

Sitting at home, I notice,
that -
the floor needs scrubbing,
the plants need pruning,
the walls need painting, and,
the children, defo, spanking,
the cobwebs - removal,
from all the folks - approval
what this claustrophobic woman needs now,
is an whole tall glass of *Royal Arrival


*Royal Arrival: a cocktail

Friday, 6 March 2020

Some uncensored thoughts


Dear I&B Ministry,

You clearly have run out of ideas on how to run the ministry; so let me make some recommendations for you for the welfare of our people

1)           Censor the programs run in main stream media during the prime time from 6-10pm. The vile family dramas , with special emphasis on the bond between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law are highly insinuating in nature. These family dramas run for years together making women addicted to it , and this is the source of entertainment of most Indian women. Think about that - Time that can otherwise be spent on getting some physical exercise and/or social networking is spent on TV because they have no idea of how important being physically active is. Mega serial programs do to women’s minds what alcohol does to men’s. Moreover , since our government do not spend enough on the social security of its senior citizens, it becomes highly imperative that we sensitize them on the importance of being physically active which is for the body and being socially active which is for the mind. This will in turn nurture good relationships among neighbors , which may in the long run help avert embarrassing communal issues and help raise the quality of people’s lives.
For the above said reasons, we highly recommend censoring of TV programs as we do for films

2)           Secondly, you should put a curb on the promotion of junk food , in TV channels meant for children. Give me one nutrient that is provided by the convenience food that is ready-to-eat that are heavily advertised in our TV channels for money. They help nobody except the manufacturers and the sellers. In addition, do you have any idea about the plastic waste that they leave behind – which unfortunately are not even recyclable. Who gains from such products ? Not our children for sure. And many women , do not even know the harm caused by such store brought products. Let us not capitalize on the ignorance of poor women, who are easily lured into buying the packets of junk food that comes in  small packages which are easily affordable. Providing food that are lacking nutrition is denying opportunity to good food that are a little more difficult to prepare for working women laborers and other working women alike. Remember , our primary education does not include lessons on good nutrition.

3)           Considering the reach of the regional channels , you can use them to spread awareness on the harmful effects of air pollution and how people can take small steps to tackle it. Corona has been successful in achieving what air pollution could not – making people wear masks. That is the power of awareness campaigns. I fail to understand how lesser important air pollution is – which causes slow death to our biological systems on prolonged exposure. Our biggest bane is people who are rich enough to buy diesel vehicles and careless enough to idle the engines in public areas with windows rolled up because their air conditioners are ON, and the general public who is unaware of the direct effect of inhaling toxic vehicle exhaust fumes. Both the parties need awareness – one of them need to be more careful and the others need to be lesser careless. However good, the sale of automobiles be for the economy, their exhaust is bad for the planet. Remember, economy does not matter if there is no planet to live in

4)           You can use your powers to instruct our media channels to not broadcast the same regressive pseudo macho movie more than 1 time in a month , which they always do 😊

5)           And the fifth, and the most important, you can use the same TV channels to address the length and breadth of nation that has been deeply hurt by the Delhi riots, 2020 – for they  are in our hearts and thoughts ever since we started taking the Indian pledge that “All Indians are our brothers and sisters” , and they really are.

6)          Recommend to the government to give Y-category security to our journalist brothers and sisters who faces occupational hazards and face big risks to bring news to our secure private rooms. It is that voice that you are trying to quieten.

7)          And, I request you to not use your powers to perform visual policing by shutting down our visual media when you have failed to control inflammatory speech under your nose against whom no charges have been made whereas a 11 year old school child’s , helpless , single mother is subjected to sedition charges , thus psychologically marring their lives for ever.

These were our expectations when we voted you to power. Please don't fail us everyday!

Sincerely,
A Bharthiya Nari


PS: I wrote the above with the conviction that there is no offense non-bailable in it and have written it in good faith- hope the fate of the Bidari mother doesnot await me

Friday, 31 January 2020

The Little Buddha Series - 2



The master manipulator
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All hell breaks loose when it is Gautham's bathing time


"Acha, Acha, no Acha, why do I bathe everyday Acha ? , stop disturbing me Acha " - Gautham cries at the top of his voice

He runs hither and thither

"Water is cold - i don't want to bathe" , he screams

"No! , it is not, may be we can set it more warmer today" , Achan says

"No!, still I don't want to bathe" , Gautham doesnot relent

<< Achan goes to the bathroom to fill the bucket >>

"Gautham!" , Achan calls again , "Come and feel the temperature for yourself"

Gautham doesnot oblige , still runs around crying

Gautham comes to Amma who is cooking in the kitchen

"Amma, please tell Achan that I don't want to bathe now"

Amma, whose focus is on the simmering Sambhar echoes what she hears

"Acha, Gautham says that he doesnot want to bathe! ", Amma cries out, to be heard

All Achan understands is that his wife is shouting from the kitchen which is not a new thing anymore after 8 years of marriage

"Gautham, what did Amma say ? ", Achan asks

"Amma asks me not to bathe!!!", Gautham answers from under the cot

He is an absolute darling at all other times








Monday, 20 January 2020

Erotica: Let me make you a meal


Two heads of broccoli,
One cup of mushroom,
A few pods of garlic,
And a pinch of salt.
Top it with two dollops of sunshine
And a spoonful of tenderness.
I’ll then throw in a few seeds of love,
While cooking you a meal.
My food will arm your body with protection
And feed your cells with nutrition.
Alongside, my love will travel -
to lay dormant in your blood.
Dormant until the next rains fall.
Rains breathe life into my love -
to fill your arms with hope,
body with warmth , 
and, heart with sunshine. 
My love will then take you towards the sky,
To walk with you on the farthest clouds