The Little Buddha Series - 1

The Father wishes for a falling asteroid
--------------------------------------------------
“Long long ago, the earth was a cloud of dust and gases”, the 7 year old exhibited his memory skills in front of the guests , isn’t it so, Acha* ? , he asked the father who nodded his head in approval. The guests were impressed evidently : “ wow , you know so much at a small age” - one of them asked ; with a  question to further test the child’s knowledge in Astrophysics – “tell me, what is gas?”. Well, the boy had only a vague idea of what gases mean , or if he had, he did not know how to express it , so he said , “Hm..hm.. gases is what come out when we fart, isn't it so, Acha ?” ,the boy asked innocently.
That was a Cut without a Retake. 

Social misfits
----------------
During the train trip, the 3 year old got very comfortable with the twenty-something handsome man ( a gym goer apparently ) who was sharing the same coach with the Acha, the Amma and the boys.
“Don’t you think that you are boring the dude” , asked Amma hushing the boy– “no, I am not !, are you bored ?” , asked the boy to the dude. “Not at all!”, said the dude . In another few minutes , he got up to go elsewhere. “Amma, where is the guy?” , asked the boy who has just then bent down to pick up his toy car from under the train seat. “He is gone. Did I not warn you not to bore that guy?” , asked the complaining Amma.

Pause. Pause.

The guy re entered the coach in a few minutes. “Look Amma" , the boy said, "The guy is here. So he had only gone to do SuSu*”, the boy screamed jubilantly. Everyone stood transfixed while Amma pulled the blanket over the head, when the dude and his muscles shrivelled like a deflated balloon.

*SuSu: In India, this is a child's gibberish used for pee-ing :D
*Acha : A vernacular word for Father
*Amma: A vernacular word for Mother

The despicable beef eaters

So earlier this year, we were looking for a babysitter - an ex army man or a retired police constable who can take care of the 7 and 3 year old boys while also taking care of their own mental sanity. Honestly I did not mind employing a ring master who had the patience to keep them safe and engaged  by teaching them to jump through a hoop or do a headstand . Just somebody who can keep the children disciplined – that was the only requirement, at a point ! It was at that time that Tulsi introduced Durga-bhai to us. Durga-bhai! -  who looked like a Shimla apple. She hailed from Nepal , but lived in the city with her husband and had 3 children, the younger two were in their teens and the elder daughter is married off and had a daughter too – all of them were back in Nepal. She was in her early thirties and her daughter is in her twenty’s and neither of these women have attended schools , she said. The numbers did not tally, but that shouldn’t be my worry if it is not hers and thus I left it at that. That is all we knew about her. But the rest was shown in her work – the children wait for Durga-bhai to come to work everyday – that says it all. Durga-bhai was purely loyal and extremely committed - to the children and to us. Little did I know that the solution to my problems can be a four feet figure from across the Himalayas.

Durga-bhai was pleased with us too – for I tell our neighbours that she is our children’s nani* - I never corrected her by saying that I introduce her as nanny and not *nani . Ignorance is so blissful sometimes ; whoever experiencing that occasional state of bliss - by audaciously staying away from textbooks - earns it, and thus deserve it – I should not be snatching it from them by imparting that extra knowledge – nobody gains from it , neither I nor her . By staying that way, I was giving her work some extra dignity too.

Days thus passed and came winter – the most dreadful times - when the sun barely grins, floors are cold, water in pipes colder and  clothing are of multiple layers and the air always damp. The big brother and the little brother had started to take turns in falling sick so that no two was alright at the same time. Taking care of them while also doing office work from home is the most terrible chore for a working mother. I thus make only easily digestible (read as ‘bland’)  food for the boys. They are never anyway great fans of my culinary skills, but I make up for that by serving a good dose of hunger with every meal. Since the care-takers need extra care, on such days I have made arrangements to get my lunch delivered at home - one good lunch a day keeps the gloom away - doesn’t it ? Ok, on one such day, came 3 o’ clock and Durga-bhai entered with my lunch (she must have met the delivery man on the way)  . She came and checked on the boys, and finding them to be fixated on the television, headed to the kitchen to brew her full milk tea and started to speak nonchalantly – we never get to talk on days that I go to work. Durga-bhai was happy to work in my household, she confided and pressed on my food parcel. But she has to travel to Nepal after 3 months , taking a 2 month break from work, for that is when they do Puja for Devi, Devatha and Purvaj* . Her Purvaj* apparently appeared in her dreams regularly and put forth their needs in front of her. And during the Puja break, she enters into a trance – do all that is needed for the deities and ancestors and they do not supposedly trouble her for the rest of the year. That is her story! – to each their won. But she loved to work for us, she reiterated while continuing to tinker with my food, as her ancestors seem pleased too – no complaints from them so far - for we are Hindus and I have photos of Hindu deities adorning my walls which makes her feel secure for she is a Hindu too . She recalled what happened while working with a Muslim household soon after she came to the city. She thought it was alright to work with them, but the ancestors!, they were not happy and were complaining to her every other night. But she continued for some more time as nobody else was giving her work. And the vengeful ancestors, they entered her body as a chronic headache – all because Muslims eat the sacred cows, she spoke with the confidence of a 5-year-old. Cows are sacred indeed!, for the Hindu holy books consider them as sacred. And they providing milk for human consumption, is a bonus. The sacrifice of cows is holier considering that the milk is actually meant for it’s own calf but still the cows willingly provide it for human consumption (sic). While facts , logic and Hinduttva were all in disagreement – I decided to remain silent, both because I was extremely hungry and because the woman’s logic was favoring me . Finally when I grabbed the food package , I swiftly took it to the kitchen, not just because I was extremely hungry , but also because I was worried - what if the ancestors make my food come alive , for it would have then instantly cried Moo!

      Adding a picture of Durga-bhai and the boys for attention - bloggers these days find it hard to gain readership :)

nani*: father’s mother

Purvaj*: ancestors

A letter to my husband

Dear Mr husband,

It has been 8 tumultuous years since we set off together and at this juncture , let me tell you what you are! - let the whole world see this and stare at you and, you be bashful, i don't care !

Alright! So, you are a -
                Yudhishtira* in justice and truthfulness,
                Bheemasena* in valor and gluttony,
                Arjuna* in skills and perseverance,
                Nakula* in handsomeness,
                Sahadeva* in patience and gentleness , and ,
                Karna* in generosity.

Thank you for this life that would have given Ms. Draupadi* a major insecurity complex - for I am not married to the Pandavas*, but to the Kauntheyas* <3

All that thus said , remember that you had assumed the form of the cunning Guru Drona* too - for you forbade my right hand from writing letters to men ever again, for my pursuit for the perfect man ended at you! , and understand that it is never easy to be a good man's wife ; neither  was it ever for Ms.Draupadi too!

Yours truly,
The ever grumpy wife :D

PS:
*Pandava : पाण्डो: पुत्र: - Son of Pandu*
*Kauntheya: कुन्तिया: पुत्र: - Son of Kunti*

Note: Nakula and Sahadeva - though born to Madri and Pandu would , in my opinion, qualify as Kauntheya , because Kunti was a dutiful mother to all of the Pandavas equally well, according to the Puranas. But, it was only during the epic Mahabharatha war , long after Pandu's death, that Karna was revealed and acknowledged as Kunti's son , and thus Karna did not qualify as a Pandava or else, Draupadi would have had a 6th husband too.

*All are characters of the beautiful Ancient Indian Epic - The Mahabharatha , the longest poem ever written in world literature. It is said about Mahabharatha that , “Whatever is here is found elsewhere. But whatever is not here is nowhere else.”